Sometimes you really want a girl to like you, but don’t know where to start.

First, you need to gain her trust.

Girls have built in instincts to distrust guys. It’s simple biology: Females were smaller and weaker, so they learned to spot and avoid potentially threatening males.

The two best methods to lower her shields are through humor and compassion. Since humor varies from person to person, I am going to stick with a universal method to demonstrate compassion.

This method works when she texts you about her problems. You can also set up this situation by asking how she’s doing, etc.

Note: If you’re a cave troll, then you have other things to work on before this will work for you. I also do not promote psychological manipulation with this method. Don’t be an asshole.

Be there for her, but only give 25%

What do I mean by this?

Well, when a girl texts you about her problems, she’s putting a lot of trust in you, and that’s a really valuable thing.

Most guys will fuck it up using a combination of these two methods:

1. Tell her to get over it. Push through and solve it in a logical way
2. Nod and acknowledge. Let her ramble

Neither of these will solidify her trust in you, and they both won’t actually solve her problem! She will appreciate your advice but turn around and throw it in the garbage.

Your job is not to solve her problems. It’s to be comforting and emotionally understanding.

This is the 25%. It’s so fucking easy to do.

When a girl says, “My best friend is ignoring me, and I don’t know what to do,”

There’s no underlying meaning. She’s being genuine. But don’t try to solve her problem! Instead, you need to relay your understanding of her emotional pain and show concern.

“That’s gotta be hard. Are you doing ok?”

This will in turn ignite an emotional response.

“Yeah, but it just hurts a lot. I don’t even know why she isn’t talking to me… (this can go on for a while)…

Repeat this for as long as needed. If you’ve been in a similar situation, share it with her. She will be more comfortable talking to you if she knows that you’ve felt what she’s feeling now.

“I understand. That shit really sucks. My friend did the same thing to me last year… (brief summary)… …but your situation sounds a lot worse. I can’t even imagine what you’re feeling right now.”

If she directly asks for advice, tell her what she should do, but be conscious of how it could make her feel.

“What do I do? How would you fix this?”

“I’d say go talk to your friend in person. I know it sounds scary, but it’s probably your only chances of reaching her... (etc., etc.)

If you do these steps correctly, she will associate you with good feelings and wisdom, even though you barely said shit. Plus this method actually helps her solve her own problem.

Pro tips:

• Don’t go overboard. She will know when you’re trying to butter her up.
• Be genuine. All you have to do is understand her emotions, which doesn’t require you to fake anything.
• Ask questions about her situation. Try to narrow down what you’d do in her situation by gathering information on the problem at hand.

I’ll catch you on the flip.

-Mark